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Break Through Your Manifesting Ceiling

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Your Manifesting Toxic Trait and How To Banish It

Since becoming a manifesting coach, I’ve observed a spiritual phenomenon that nearly all my clients experience during their sessions. And I don’t have any other way to say it, other than to simply blurt it out: nearly everyone completely sabotages themselves and their own success. Consistently. And they’re good at it. 

It’s highly likely during your manifesting journey that critical thoughts will take over–you must address it in order to manifest something different than what you’ve already manifested. I say this with love and encouragement because I’ve seen proof that everyone experiences moments of ego tyranny. 

Self sabotage comes in endless forms: self deprecating thoughts, excuses, justifications, new physical reactions (like a sudden “random” ailment that throws a wrench in all your plans,) and anything else that pops up only to threaten the freshly budding transformation building up within you. 

I can think of many times in my life where I sabotaged myself. And many people have told me stories where they’ve done it too. All of us do this, and it’s absolutely okay. 

Today we’re talking all about this self-sabotaging toxic habit we all indulge in, how to recognize it, and how to work through it. I do not want to see any more spiritual women dimming their own light because they’ve convinced themselves of LIES about achieving their dreams. So you’re exactly where you need to be.

Why Self Sabotage?

So first, I want to give a little background on how I began noticing this self-sabotaging streak in my clients. Then we’ll talk about how we work through it, and my goal is that you’ll have all the tools you’ll need for when you’re ready to invest in my private program Manifest On Purpose. 

When I first started coaching, I had grand dreams of taking clients on a glorious twelve week journey of manifesting and mindfulness and crystal reiki. It only took a handful of clients going through the longer program for me to realize how overwhelming that commitment was for most people. 

So I shortened it to 8 weeks, then 6 weeks, and that’s when the pattern of self sabotage started emerging. It’s been over a year since then, and I have found a way to address this inevitability in a spiritual and supportive way. 

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What is Coaching?

Before we get in too deep, I want to first clarify what coaching actually is, because I know this idea of getting yourself a coach is new to a lot of people. A coach is someone who can help you:

  • Achieve the goals you set for yourself
    • Get clear on the goal
    • Get clear on the action steps
    • Encouragement and accountability 
  • Dream up ambitious goals 
  • Reconsider what is actually possible for you and what you actually want
  • Pinpoint exactly what thoughts and habits are causing roadblocks 
  • Brainstorm ways to change your life situation 
  • Explore new and/or difficult questions that provoke personal growth 
  • Turn your “I don’t know”’s into “I’m ready to grow.”
    • Help you shift from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset
  • Change your habits and thought patterns to support your goals
  • See what events in your past could possibly be having an effect on your future

This is different from therapy because therapy helps you heal from those past events through various techniques (and possibly medications) in a clinical setting. Therapy and coaching work very well together. Especially when you also bring in energy healing so you can get a truly holistic lifestyle, as discussed in episode 113 Holistic Healing Defined

Both therapy and coaching have the potential of showing you exactly what you need to do to improve your life. The extent to which you commit to the improvements is what makes these modalities more or less effective. 

And here’s where self sabotage comes in. When you first begin coaching, you go through a honeymoon phase. You’re excited, you’re committed, you’re feeling the transformation already and it’s eye-opening. This is usually the first three sessions. 

During those sessions, clients are always open and ready to do the work, to examine the depths, and to heed Spirit messages. It’s beautiful and always so much fun! But then…the real work sets in. 

Just like a romantic relationship with another person, what unfolds in the wake of the honeymoon phase is a more accurate representation of what this journey will feel like. 

Not to say the honeymoon phase isn’t delightful and telling. Who doesn’t love getting swept up in the magic of something new? That’s setting the tone for the rest of the journey. 

My clients and I almost always uncover the most important obstacles for them to work through in the first few sessions.

Sometimes the client is shocked by what we find. Other times they say it’s the same thing they already knew they needed to work on. Either way, they’re left with a choice after the end of the third session. 

They can either do things they’ve never done before, taking full advantage of their coaching container, and begin to solidify their inner transformation. 

Or they can do things they’ve always done, leaving potential on the table, and stall their transformation to a near complete-stop. 

This is the spiritual phenomena that I keep observing. Almost all my clients are naturally inclined to fall back into their old habits and mutilate all the magic they’ve cultivated so far. 

I checked in with some of my coaching colleagues, and they confirmed that this is common, especially among women. We all get to a point where we have to take action, and it’s completely up to us to keep the momentum going. 

I can coach you until I collapse, but it’s all in vain if you don’t do the work.

Clients are the most susceptible to session cancellations, second guessing, confusion, and even ghosting once the third session is done. 

It’s ridiculously easy to convince themselves that the work is already done, or that there’s nothing that will change the situation, or that the transformation isn’t worth the effort, or whatever other lies the ego is spewing. 

The thing is though, you all know none of that is true. As an objective listener, you know that the work isn’t done after only three sessions, that it’s possible to change any situation with the right action steps, and that the transformation is always worth the effort it takes. 

But once you shift from objective listener to active participant, it becomes a lot harder to see those egoic lies for what they really are: self sabotage. 

They seem like reasonable, logical snippets of a sad truth. And that’s the point. The ego’s job is to keep us safe and alive. 

Any change in our habits, psyche, or environment are seen as threats to our literal survival. This is often why change and transformation is so hard and scary. It feels like a threat to our lives when big change starts happening. Especially if that big change also involves rebuilding and/or restructuring the way we live our daily lives. That’s the most threatening.

How To Recognize Self Sabotage In The Moment

You’re going to have to face your inner demons eventually, otherwise growth won’t occur. And it’s really hard to manifest when your vibration is stagnant. 

My favorite thing to do in sessions is point out the exact moment someone vocalizes the exact reason for their manifesting blocks without even realizing it. 

It’s things like “It’s not possible for me to buy the house I want.” Or along the lines of “I can’t do my spiritual practices or talk about my beliefs out in the open.” 

Do these sentences hold some truth? Yes. Are they also self sabotaging lies that are creating our current reality in which we experience that truth? Also yes. A huge yes.  

The easiest way to recognize self sabotage in the moment (and not in hindsight) is through a caring, compassionate, objective third party such as a spiritual coach. 

The important thing is to remove bias. Actually listen to the words you’re saying out loud and in your own head. Take a step back, ask yourself how true they really are. And would you even want those things to be true anyway? 

Recognizing the truth of difficult situations and outside factors influencing your life is not the same as self sabotage. That is when you defeat yourself by your own internal mechanisms of doubt, imposter syndrome, perfectionism, and more. 

Be honest, kind, and gentle with yourself. What would you say to a child who is upset, claiming “I can’t do this! It’s too hard! I give up!”? Would you shame them for feeling that way because they should already know how amazing they are? 

That’s the vibe I get from spiritual women who self sabotage a lot: They think, “I know! It’s so frustrating that I know exactly why this is happening and how I can change it and yet I don’t do it! I know!” They’re shaming themselves for not doing what they think they need to be doing. 

But in the examples of both the child and yourself, reacting with shame and blame will only cause them to shut down, not improve. 

You can encourage yourself (and a child too!) to work past the toxic trait of self sabotage by:

  • Approaching the situation calmly with a loving tone
  • Allowing space for emotions that arise quickly (like anger or frustration)
    • Know it’s okay to feel that way when things get hard
  • Remind yourself that these obstacles in your path are deliberately there to teach you the exact skill you need right now 
  • State the opposite of what your self sabotaging thought is
    • “It’s impossible for me to buy the house I want” changes to “It’s completely possible for me to buy the house I want”
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Break Through Your Manifesting Ceiling

You can break through your manifesting ceiling! And the Universe is showing you exactly what you need to do to do it. Your ego is assisting by demonstrating the triggers/beliefs standing in your way. 

Every time you feel sabotage creeping in, shine a light directly onto it instead of shying away. Whatever form of sabotage that is coming forth for you now, deal with it once and for all. Recognize it for what it is–a self imposed inner conflict that you can demolish and rebuild. 

The Universe loves to shine bright spotlights directly onto exactly what we need to work through in order to break through our manifesting ceiling. 

This is vital to manifesting. Those self sabotaging traits are coming up now because they are the least aligned with what you’re trying to manifest. As long as they remain in your energy, your manifestation ceiling is intact. 

This is the Universe’s way of making it easy for you. All the best spiritual wisdom hides in plain sight. Everything is accessible, everything is easy, everything is natural, everything is simple. We just over think it because we’re human. The Universe gets this, because It wants the experience. Which is why the Universe leaves spiritual clues behind for us to decipher. 

Pay attention to the spiritual spotlight in your life. The Universe is making your manifesting blocks as obvious as possible. You just have to objectively look for patterns and decide on a new way of thinking about those patterns.

Thank you so much for reading. I sincerely hope this episode has been insightful for you. As you go on your way today, know that I’m sending you an abundance of love, light, and inspiration. Blessed be!

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