Learning to let it go

Forgiveness is the ultimate expression of love. Where there is self love and love for others, there is forgiveness. All dis-ease that we feel in our subtle and physical bodies stems from a state of unforgiveness. And if we feel stuck or trapped in our situation, there is probably at least one situation in need of resolution.

In this blog post, I’m going to be discussing the importance of forgiveness in all areas of our lives.

Forgiveness and acceptance are closely connected. Acceptance is the first step to realizing there’s inner work to be done. And forgiveness is the door we all must walk through to get onto the path of healing. We accept responsibility for the way things have manifested, then we forgive so we can move on to bigger and better things.

“Love is always the answer to healing of any sort. And the pathway to love is forgiveness. Forgiveness dissolves resentment.”

Louise Hay **

When we refuse to forgive

A lot of us really struggle with forgiving people we feel have wronged us. We reason that they don’t deserve our forgiveness because what they did was so terrible. If we choose to let it go, they might not fully grasp how badly they hurt us. Therefore, we must hold a grudge against them as a form of punishment. That will show them! Right?

Wrong! Refusing to forgive means sacrificing our inner peace and happiness. Without forgiveness, we are making the choice to allow yesterday’s pain to affect us today. It really is a cruel form of self-sabotage because we impose this stress upon ourselves. No one is forcing us to withhold forgiveness, not even the person that wronged us. We are choosing to cling to the pain on our own accord.

Refusing to forgive means never letting go of unpleasant feelings caused by a situation. It’s a mental block that we must work through if we ever want to feel at peace with what has occurred. No one wants to be consumed by resentment forever.

Forgiveness IS NOT about justifying behavior. This is a common misconception that often keeps people from wanting to forgive. Deciding to forgive someone doesn’t mean what they did is okay, it just means you’re ready to stop dwelling on it. Especially if that person has acknowledged their wrongdoings.

Withholding forgiveness hurts us so much more than anyone else. Eventually, that person will stop seeking forgiveness because it clearly won’t ever come. And after that happens, the relationship completely fades away. We are left feeling resentful with a slew of unresolved issues and emotions. It becomes nearly impossible to move on without expressing forgiveness.

Showing mercy illustrates our desire to move on

Forgiveness is about accepting the fact that it happened, and deciding to no longer let that negatively affect everything. It truly is a commitment, but it’s absolutely worth it. And completely necessary to go forward.

Whatever happened can’t be changed, but our perspective and opinions certainly can. Try embracing the situation as a new and exciting learning experience. Rather than a horribly unforgivable incident you must learn to live with. Immediately our resentment transforms into an awesome opportunity for growth. Just from a simple shift in mindset.

Forgiveness is the gateway to healing in every sense of the word. All areas of our lives will improve if we show mercy. It releases us from the past and allows us to be fully present in the here and now. Otherwise, we spend the here and now obsessing over things that cannot be changed. That is the exact opposite of living mindfully. Choose to live in love and release frustration!

Forgiveness can be truly difficult. But the most important thing is our willingness to forgive. If we aren’t willing to forgive, we will stay stuck in the same spot for the foreseeable future.

Do you feel like a lot of people have wronged you? Have you experienced an overwhelming amount of difficult situations? Perhaps one of your big karmic lessons in this life is to learn to forgive. Forgiveness allows us to release and let go of what is holding us back. It is a form of self love because it gives us room to acknowledge life’s learning curve.

Forgiving Ourselves

Above all else, we must show ourselves mercy. Constantly criticizing ourselves is extremely destructive and accomplishes nothing. If self-criticism worked, we would all be perfect already, wouldn’t we? Everyone is their own worst critic, even though it obviously isn’t helpful in the slightest. Being overly critical doesn’t do anything but lower our self-esteem.

Mistakes happen to everybody. We all know this is true. Constantly reminding ourselves that we (or someone we are close to) made a mistake is pretty abusive. Forgiveness is an act of kindness that benefits everyone involved, especially ourselves.

Avoiding Victimhood

Fully feeling all of your emotions is critical for personal growth. But you want to avoid becoming a victim of everything that happens to you. You may have truly been a victim in a situation, and you shouldn’t repress or disregard that if you were. However, you should keep in mind that our outer worlds are reflection of our inner worlds.

So, if you find that you really are the victim in the situation, then you must realize that might be something bigger going on internally. You might see yourself as always being the victim, therefore you constantly are manifesting situations where you are “helpless.”

Victimhood comes from a place of powerlessness, when we believe we have no power or authority to take charge and make changes. We feel we are at the mercy of all these external happenings, therefore we can’t possibly be responsible for their presence in our lives. Of course, this is not true at all. Learn more about claiming responsibility and gaining more control over life in this article here.

Forgiving Others

The thing about forgiveness is that it does not have to be outwardly expressed. There is no need to tell anyone out loud that we forgive them if we don’t want to. It can be completely internal. But it has to happen eventually in some way or another. Not sure about you, but this fact makes me feel a lot better about forgiving people from my past. The goal of forgiveness is to let it go and find inner peace once again.

Justice for those who have wronged us doesn’t exist. If we don’t choose to forgive, we are instead choosing resentment and revenge. And even if revenge were to happen for you, would it really make anything better? You won’t win anything and you won’t heal at all. You’ll probably end up feeling even more shitty than you did before. No bueno.

“We do not need to know how to forgive. All we need to do is to be willing to forgive. The Universe will take care of the hows.”

Louise Hay **

People that suffer from emotional pain tend to cause emotional pain in others. This is the Law of Attraction at work. Maybe there’s a person out there that has wronged you in some way. This person may have caused you a lot of pain, most likely because they were experiencing a lot of pain. Forgiveness of others comes more easily if we remember that everyone is simply doing the best they can with what they know right now.

Again, we are not justifying their behavior. We are just acknowledging everyone’s individual journey and choosing to see unpleasant situations as learning experiences. You don’t need to forgive immediately. But the sooner you forgive the sooner you can cut ties with past pain.

Related Article – Acceptance: The First Step

Thank you for reading! If you have anything to add, pleas feel free to do so in the comments below. Why is forgiveness important to you?

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