What is the Law of Detachment?
The Law of Detachment is one of the governing principles the Universe operates on (similar to the Law of Attraction). The Law of Detachment (LOD) states that we must be willing to let go of our desires, emotions, beliefs, items, or whatever else we may cling to, in order to experience liberation.
The LOD grants us freedom from suffering, because attachment feeds suffering. When we are free of suffering, we are free to receive. This is why you cannot have the Law of Attraction without the Law of Detachment.
We can become attached to anything. Outcomes, pathways, physical items, people, ideals, promises, habits, memories, identities, goals, anything else you can think of in your life. The tighter you hold onto something, the harder it is for you to feel fulfilled in that thing.
It’s very counterintuitive, especially for our naturally-negative human brains. We have something we love, or need, or are used to, and we think we have to grasp it tightly in order for things to stay the same (therefore staying safe).
But in fact, the exact opposite is true. If we have something we love, need, or want in our lives, eventually we will need to let go of it emotionally. Otherwise, there’s a chance that it will disappear, or not appear at all.
Why does this happen? Why doesn’t gripping work? Why can’t I obsess over this very important thing and have it stay in my life, bringing me happiness?
Because happiness, satisfaction, and love do not come from things. Or outcomes, or habits, or beliefs, or even people. These emotions come from Source, and we are Source.
Ourselves and the Universe are indistinguishable. We are one in the same. Clinging to the things in our lives will not bring us anything worthwhile. All that we seek is already within us.
And if we do need something that is outside of us (food, water, shelter, money, etc.), the Universe will provide. The thing we cling to will not bring us any of those things. The Universe does.
The thing we’re talking about could be a literal food machine that puts our favorite foods right in front of us. And yet, that food machine isn’t actually bringing us food. It was the Universe having orchestrated the creation of the machine that brought us the food, plus all that went into the creation of the food itself.
Why is the Law of Detachment Important?
Think of all the things you hold dear. All the people, the beliefs, the items, the habits, the memories, anything else that comes to mind. Why are these things important to you?
If they’re important to you because of love, you’re in luck. The Universe is pure love! Source energy is pure love, and nothing else. So the love you feel for these items or people is coming directly from Source, and you’re both experiencing it simultaneously. And love flows freely from Source, with or without those things.
If they’re important to you because of practical reasons, you’re being given an opportunity. Whatever sort of good fortune those things are bringing you, the Universe can and will continue to bring you abundance in other ways with or without them.
Because of this, you don’t need to rely on those things to get those practical needs met. In fact, relying on those things could be hindering you from receiving more blessings from the Universe, in easier, grander ways.
If they’re important to you because of sentimental value, I get it. My house is filled with things that are attached to memories and people I’ve loved. Plenty of these things have been broken or lost, and even in my grief I am left with the pleasant memories associated with them. So those items really weren’t the vessels for those feelings like I thought they were.
All these things that are important to us are being seen as catalysts by the ego. We have convinced ourselves that without those things, we won’t have the feelings, or other things, that come along with them. So we cling.
But in our clinging to these things, we receive less and less of those feelings or blessings. Eventually our focus will shift from receiving those feelings to hanging onto those things.
And because of the Law of Attraction, in this state, we’re no longer a vibrational match for the feelings we’re actually seeking within those things.
The Law of Detachment doesn’t just apply to tangible, physical things. It applies to literally everything in our human experience. If you sat and reflected upon it, you would be able to find plenty of examples of various things you’re attached to. Or have been attached to. Or what you’ve seen other people get attached to.
And if you continue to reflect, you’ll likely also realize how much prosperity comes from those times where you’ve relieved yourself of attachment.
How to Detach
Detachment isn’t without conscious effort. It is one of the four manifesting phases because we need to take the time to ensure we practice it.
The whole point of the LOD is to let go of the desired outcome, and give control back to the Universe. Because the Universe is in control anyway, and clinging to a specific outcome will completely block the Universe’s ability to send you anything.
The first thing you need to do for the LOD is to acknowledge your attachments. Everyone has attachments. What are yours?
I prompted you to consider your attachments a moment ago. Circle back to these things. Write them down. Explore why you’re so attached, without judgment.
I’m willing to bet that at some level, your attachment is tied to your sense of self worth. Or to a specific memory that helps you shape your identity. And that’s okay! That is exactly what humans have evolved to do.
See your attachments for what they truly are. See what grief they may have caused you, and consider what would be different about your life without this attachment.
I read quite a bit. Multiple books a week on average. And recently, I read a beautiful book that has officially become one of the most important books I’ve ever read. It inspired this whole post because it helped me understand detachment in a new way.
It is called “It’s Not Your Money” by Tosha Silver. I now own it in all three formats, ebook, physical book, and audiobook.
This book was amazing because it approached detachment with the concept of offering everything to God (or the Universe, whatever terminology you prefer) through prayer.
In offering to God, you’re truly letting go. You’re gathering up all your attachments and sending them out into the Universe. They are gladly received by the Universe, and you’re free to receive.
I have taken all the prayers listed in this book to heart, and have begun reciting them daily. They fill me up with love and joy every single time. And I feel light as a feather afterwards. The more I offer to the Universe, the more I receive.
We’ll dive deeper into the concept of prayers in another pst. For now, offer your attachments to the Universe. Say, “Here you go, Universe. This is for you. Please help release me from the burden of this attachment. I am open to receive.”
Be sure to fully release that attachment. Truly embody the detachment. There is no other way to do it. You cannot release partially. You must release it fully.
You can’t work on “releasing” while still having an agenda. Releasing attachment cannot be seen as the “answer.” It is simply a state of being that results in outward changes.
By this, I mean that you don’t want to view detachment as the “trick” that will finally bring you the outcome you’re clinging to. The Universe needs you to be okay with whatever comes your way. You will be okay, because you are strong, adaptable, worthy, and loved.
This doesn’t mean you no longer care. This simply means you’re giving the Universe space to operate and send you blessings.
You are like the tall grass of a meadow. You’re rooted in the ground, while also flowing in the wind. The Universe is the wind, taking you this way and that way. You’re staying grounded, while also being flexible.
Detachment takes practice. And I wouldn’t expect anyone to fully detach themselves from every single thing they’ve ever held onto with a single prayer.
You’re practicing the LOD every single day, ideally. Whenever you realize you’re hyper-focused on one specific outcome, follow these steps. Acknowledge it, explore it, offer it, and mean it.
Even once you become very good at embodying the LOD, you will still need some sort of trigger action to signal to your mind that you’re detaching. I use prayers for this. You can use whatever feels right to you. But make it easy and accessible because you’ll be using it a lot.
The Law of Detachment
I would like to share a recent story of how the Law of Detachment has played out in my life, and this is actually acting as a mini-announcement too! Okay, it’s not actually mini at all. It’s huge, and I feel as though this is a pivotal moment in my life that I would like to share with you.
As of writing this, I became a mother 14 months ago to a beautiful girl who has been the brightest and biggest blessing I’ve ever received. During my pregnancy, and also throughout this last year, I became fascinated with early childhood development. I wanted to understand what was going on in her little body and psyche, so I can be the best parent I could be for her.
I also had this deep feeling of desperation because I felt trapped in my day job. And it truly was a “day job,” in the sense that I worked it during the day and didn’t really care about it at all. In fact, every job I’ve had in the last 10 years has been this way. Hence why I’ve had several.
I kept searching for a job that would simply pay the bills as I “hustled” to get my spiritual business off the ground. I had always dreamt of being a “full time” entrepreneur and anything less than that wasn’t worth my time. I spent years actively believing that I was wasting my time being in jobs I hated so much, but had an obligation to be in.
So when my daughter was born, this desperation grew. I set extremely lofty goals for myself to “finally” make it as an entrepreneur because I wanted all the glamorous benefits of being my own boss. Free time, no salary ceiling, doing the work I love, all the things.
The harder I clung to this singular reality that I wanted for myself, the further away it got from me. And the further it got, the harder I hustled and the harder I clinged. It became a vicious cycle that was burning me out and lowering my vibration (ultimately changing what I was attracting).
But then I really dove into detachment. Just because I am a manifesting coach doesn’t mean I manifest perfectly all the time. I have all the same doubts and struggles as my clients do. We learn from each other equally.
So I decided to focus on releasing my death-grip to this one very specific ideal lifestyle I had created in my head. It took some practice, and I’m definitely still working on it, but something miraculous happened almost immediately.
I randomly decided to apply for a job as a teacher at a daycare center for children three and under. It showed up in an email I was subscribed to that advertised activities for kids in the local area. I had never before seen a job posting in this email, but there it was.
I received an instant, full body YES from Spirit to apply, so I did. I didn’t even fully complete the application, and I even told myself I was totally okay if nothing came of it. And I truly was. But I was contacted for an interview anyway.
The interview was amazing, and I was offered the teaching job two hours later. I was ecstatic! I still am. It is an absolutely perfect fit. The salary is comparable to my previous salary at the technology company I worked for. And it was only 4 days a week, leaving me plenty of time to continue my work with clients and podcasting and writing.
For the first time ever in my adult life, I feel a sense of excitement towards a job. I cannot wait to go into work, I feel fulfilled when I leave, and I sincerely care so much about the success of the center and of the children within.
And, the center will pay for my tuition to go back to school for early childhood education. Talk about abundance! I always clung to the statement, “I would never go back to college.” Yet, here I am, excited and willing to go back to college in this capacity because I let go of the old stories I was constantly telling myself.
After all this has happened, Spirit has continued to give me hints about how working with children and studying ECE will change the spiritual business I am so passionate about. Things that I never thought I would ever “specialize” in are becoming clearer. Directions I didn’t think my business would go in.
By letting go of attachment to a specific lifestyle I wanted, and a specific career I wanted, I actually gained everything I was looking for in those attachments. Freedom, fulfillment, time, abundance, and so much more.
I’ve had such a sense of relief over the last few weeks. All of these blessings dropped from the sky, and change happened almost instantly. I am no longer putting all this immense amount of pressure on myself to go “full time” in my business. I’ve completely rewritten what I want my dream life to look like, and in doing so I am still receiving all I’ve always wished to receive.
My books are selling more copies. I’m booking more readings and coaching sessions. Website traffic is up, podcast downloads are up, YouTube subscribers are growing. And the only thing I’ve done differently is detach from the outcome, and put in less hours of work!
All of this to illustrate how vital detachment is in your manifesting journey. I would never have received all the blessings I received in this situation if I didn’t genuinely feel detached from the outcome. I was, and am, totally okay no matter which way this path takes me. And because of this, it is taking me to some amazing places! And it can for you, too.